Enough with the "catch ups"

All right, I totally and completely admit to not updating this nearly as often as I need to or want to, but at the rate I'm going every post would be titled "Catching Up" and that is just sad. So, let me tell you about what happened today in the life of his full time mom:

• John got home from work this morning and was greeted by sleepy smiles by his girls, aka Olivia and I.
• Olivia threw up on me and was extra cuddly. She didn't cry or act sick afterwards so I'm guessing she just overate. 
• After perusing an article about the benefits of drinking water and as I work from home both as mommy and online, there really is no excuse for me not to load up on it and hopefully improve my skin and overall health.  So far I am 4 cups away from a full gallon and I've gone to the bathroom an insane amount of times.  
• Olivia ate, slept, ate, slept and smiled while we "snap'd" our favorite people.
• John was sweet enough to wake up at 3:00 and let me work.
• Olivia and I rocked dinner time and cooked together in the kitchen.
• After John and I ate Olivia was super hungry so she  snacked on a banana and then it was cuddle time with mommy and daddy while she ate so I was in a snuggle sandwich.
• I froze 6 meals worth of homemade chili, prepped tomorrow's salad and now I'm writing in this blog while my amazing husband and beautiful daughter sleep.

Now, this is a highlight reel of our day not a play by play but I've got to say it was all in all a fun time.  Olivia was gorgeous as always and I love that she is such a mommy's girl. Her gummy smile, bright blue eyes and sweet hugs are worth more to me than jewels. 

I'll try and check in tomorrow but no promises ;)

-K

Life is hard sometimes!

                  Dear Olivia,

                                                      Life is about hard times. And its about having joy, true joy. It took me along time to learn this lesson that life is suppose to be hard. I thought life should be easy and fun all the time. I bet most of us people think life should be easy and fun all the time. But it's not. Its about learning and growing up. It's about failures and successes. It's about happiness and sadness. Without the bad times we can never experience the good and wonderful times.

                                                     Yesterday when I was holding you and listening to my record player a scripture came to my mind. 2 Nephi 2:25, the main sentence from that verse that kept repeating in my mind and heart was, Adam fell that men might be, and men are, that they might have joy. That moment as I was holding you I felt so much joy from you. Early that day, I felt angry and stress about lots of different things. But the joy I felt for having you and your mom in my life was joy that will last forever. I have no clue where would I be without you and your mom in my life. I would not have the same joy that I felt in that moment with you listening to a record in your bed room. I would not have the same hard times with school stuff and job stuff. Life would be different without you and your mom. Life would always be missing something without you. I am glad I will never experience life without you. I need you. You help be a better person and a better father. I am so glad we have your mom in our lives. Without your mom I would not be the same person I am today.

                                                But life will be hard for you as you grow just have a good attitude and grow from the hard experiences. Make good choice to make life easier for you. You will experience joy and sadness. Be prepared for the sadness. Trials will come so you can become a stronger woman. Your mom and I love you so much. Be brave in this life. We need people to stand up for what we believe and make the correct choices in life. This world is becoming so bad but you are a daughter of God and you will be the bright light that can help people to come closer to Christ. You already helped me to come closer to Christ. 

          With Love, Your Dad
                                              

My special moment with Olivia

Olivia is growing far too fast for my taste. I love everything thing about her from her chubby little toes to her fine, ever-changing hair. She is my perfect give from Heaven. Every moment I spend with her is priceless. We wake up together, eat together, take naps together, dance together, watch tv (I know, terrible mom, but she likes it too) and more importantly talk together.
My sister Jaisha captured this moment for me tonight after Olivia had her bath and I was getting her all ready for bed. She is my little buddy, my confidant and really, my twin. I hope you can feel how much I care about my little princess from this short clip.

Dear Olivia: Breastfeeding

Dear Olivia,

Well, let me just tell you what little girl, you are the most determined and sometimes stubborn little thing I've ever met! Can't imagine where on Earth you got that from ;) ha ha! With parents like you have, you didn't stand a chance on three things: stubbornness, kindheartedness and most importantly of all: bootyliciousness. Now, I know that last one may not be an actual word, but baby girl you have a booty that is all sorts of ghetto fabulous!
Anyway, back to the title of this letter, breastfeeding. You and I have had our issues on this one. You didn't like breastfeeding at all for the first month of your life. You would scream and cry and then I would cry because I made you cry and you were just hungry and wanted things your way fast and easy. Then I would give up and pump to give you a bottle...basically a vicious circle. It makes travelling awful. But, lo and behold today you finally latched and performed beautifully! I am so proud! You are amazing and full of surprises. One thing I'm sure of, you can do anything you want as long as you get to take your time with it. Here are some pictures of this last week or so:

You are the daintiest sleeper! I love how you hold your hands. 

Today was rough. No shower for mom, you didn't take a nap all day but it was all worth it when you fell asleep on me and gave me a hug. I love you!

This was on your 1 month birthday and you were sitting on Aunt Jaisha! Your cousin Brittney gave you this outfit.

Dear Olivia: Toots

Dear Olivia,

This letter is about something adorable that you do on a regular basis. You cute little thing! So, you are a pretty dang good sleeper. You love sleeping on your tummy and especially curled up on somebody's chest. Usually mine because we are best friends and spend a lot of time together, which I love! However, you sometimes get a little gassy and when that happens, you wake yourself up and send me into a laughing fit. I haven't been able to catch it on film yet, but here is a pretty good example of what you are like:

It's little things like this that make me fall in love with you all over again. One thing though, your toots are more like an adult and anything but lady like. I can't imagine where you got those from *cough* Grandma Wilcox *cough*.

Love you,

Mom

Dear Olivia: It is so nice to meet you.

Dear Olivia,

Since, as your mother, I am a terrible journal keeper in the traditional sense and writing individual letters would ultimately get lost before you could actually read, I'm going to write you letters here. I want you to know that I absolutely adore you. You have the sweetest personality and are so special to your father and I.
Today I wanted to show you some pictures of when we first met you! Everything about you is perfect. Yes, I know all mothers say that about their daughters but I truly mean it from the bottom of my heart. I wondered what you'd look like from the moment I found out that we were pregnant. I even dreamed about you! Nothing could have prepared me for the beauty I saw when I first laid eyes on you.

I couldn't believe how tiny your feet were.

You have a tight little grip. Your dad is so proud of that.

Your Grandma Wilcox kisses those cheeks like crazy!

 Honestly, little girl, you were beautiful from day 1 and so far you have only improved upon perfection. You are going to be one of those girls who is beautiful inside and out. I'm so proud to be your mom.
Well, there are a million pictures that I will be posting of you and experiences I'll be writing about. For now, I'm going to go and feed you because you just woke up!

Love you pretty girl,
Mom

Olivia Ephra Kelley

Monday was Olivia's 3 week birthday and since she is sleeping on my chest right now after her usual 2 o'clock feeding, I decided it is the perfect time to write about the day she came into our lives.

My last post was about the first time we thought we'd be parents and the heartbreak I felt when I was sent home from the hospital. This time started out the exact same way.

On Saturday night, April 19th, I had another gall bladder attack and was in excruciating pain yet again. I had followed a strict no-fat diet and it didn't make any difference. John and his friend gave me a blessing and I managed to get some sleep. The next morning I was getting ready for church and the same symptoms started up again. I really didn't want to go through this again without medicinal intervention, so off we went to the hospital. 

After checking in and getting medicated, my doctor decided to try and start me again and if Olivia didn't come by choice, we were going to have to take her with a C-section because my pancreas levels were extremely elevated yet again. To be honest, I was not happy. I had already been down with road and in my heart I honestly thought I'd be sent home again.
Regardless, I allowed them to start me on the pit at about 1:30 p.m. I was dilated to nearly a 2 and had to make the arduous journey to a 10 before I could greet this little girl. Well, hours came and went with John faithfully at my side except for the one moment he ran home to grab some clothes for this little girl to come home in. I was so certain they wouldn't keep me that I hadn't bothered to bring her diaper bag! Some mother, eh?
We watched t.v., talked and I listened to my music and prayed. At around 8 at night I was able to finally get my epidural. That blessed miracle. I will never understand those who go all natural after experiencing the beautiful peace that an epidural brings!
I was still only a 5 for several more hours and while I wasn't in a lot of pain, I was still very uncomfortable. What was the hold up? Why wasn't this little girl coming? Didn't she know how excited we were to meet her? Was she scared to come into this world? Can't say that I blame her. I started praying hard for my body to relax and just dilate to get her here.
I prayed for such a long time and then felt some serious discomfort at 5 a.m. I called for the nurse to help me understand why I was feeling such discomfort and she did a check to see if there had been any change. Surprisingly, she said I was at a 9 and a half and left the room to call my doctor to get there because Olivia was ready to make an appearance!
Suddenly, the room was in a frenzy. Loads of nurses started coming in, adjusting the bed, telling me to breathe, setting up equipment and ordering John to grab one of my legs because he was going to have to help me push. I was really excited, nervous and scared. This was the moment! It almost didn't feel real.
My nurse was fabulous as she coached me through with steady count downs from 10 to 1 and telling me to push, breathe, push, breathe. John held my one leg and another nurse held the other. I felt an incredibly amount of pressure and just wanted to push this little girl right out but my Doctor hadn't arrived yet. I guess the lady next door and I were neck and neck at this point, but I won in the end! My Doctor arrived, sat down, told me to push three more times and then all of  a sudden I felt this intense falling sensation and the most beautiful little girl came into view.
She was crying, gray and unfortunately bloody but she was mine. John cut the umbilical cord, the nurses grabbed her and put her on my chest and I stared in awe at this beautiful little creature who I felt so much love for. She was mine. I had talked to her, felt her kick, wondered about her and finally here she was in my arms. I was overwhelmed and so happy to finally have met her.
Olivia was born at 6:28 a.m. on April 21st.and weighed 6 lbs. 15 oz and was 19 inches long. She is perfect.